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Pegleg Johnson

  • (Shel Silverstein)

    Chorus:
    I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
    Being chased round the country by a one-legged fool
    He's jumpin', he's hoppin' and he shows no sign of stoppin'
    I tell you boys, life is hard and cruel

    Friends I must confess it for I know you'll never guess it
    I just met the sweetest woman in my long and lonesome life
    But a friend said to me, Iain I can't believe what I'm seein'
    Don't you know the girl you're fooling with is Pegleg Johnson's wife
    And the man is big and mad and mean and grim
    And he'll brain you with his artificial limb
    But you know next morning early I stole Pegleg's girlie
    And I took his wooden leg as well just to play it safe
    But there was no time for laughter 'cause he started hoppin' after
    Though I keep running faster he just won't give up the chase
    And now I'm running through the mountains with his bride
    And I've got his wooden leg here by my side

    From the mountains of Montana to the swamps of Louisiana
    'Cross the mighty Mississippi to the hills of Carolin'
    From the mountains and the valleys to the city streets and alleys
    Each time I look round he's just one foot behind
    And I know he's cold and wet and damp and sick
    And in spite of all his troubles he can't kick

    Now at nights as I lie sleeping in my dreams I see him creeping
    And I hear him scream and holler and I hear him plead and beg
    He says, Iain you've done some stealin' but I bear you no hard feelings
    You can keep the damned old woman but give me back my leg
    In the dark I know you thought you took the wood one
    But examine it you'll find it's my good one

    (as sung by Iain MacKintosh)

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