Henry's Songbook

I had a girl, her name was Mame
She treated me just right
I wined her, I dined her
We courted most every night
So I offered to buy her
Some fancy jewellery
I'll admit, I was taken back a bit
By what Mame said to me

She said
The only thing I want from you, my friend
If I can't be your wife
Is a five-bladed, nickel-plated
Pearl-handled pocket knife

I introduced Mame to some of my friends
They really had a fling
One guy, she charmed him, she completely disarmed him
They say she treated him like a king
So he offered to buy her a giant ruby ring
But Mame, she said, No, she said, Keep your dough
And she began to sing

She said
The only thing I want from you, my friend
If I can't be your wife
Is a five-bladed, nickel-plated
Pearl-handled pocket knife

Some time later I discovered that Mame
Had ten cases full of knives
I said, Mame, what's the dope? and she told me plain
This is my chest of hope
Y'see, I'm saving for the future
For some old rainy day
When my lovers are gone, I'm all alone
And I'm getting old and grey

Because I know what a young Boy Scout will do
To prolong my active life
For a five-bladed, nickel-plated
Pearl-handled pocket knife, inlaid -
A five-bladed, nickel-plated
Lubricated, insulated
Pearl-handled pocket knife

(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)