Henry's Songbook

   While you wet your whistle, whistle I'll sing you this
   O' the misguided missile and the misguided miss

The maid she was young and pretty, she came doon frae the city
Was a hell of a pity that she left auld Glesga toon
She met a son of Uncle Sammy frae the heart of Alabamy
Who'd never left his mammy till he came doon tae Dunoon

In his wee bit sailor's suitie, och, he looked so brave and smart
At the Battle of the Holy Loch he won a Purple Heart
Since he's been overseas, five medals and six stars
And for drinkin' your Johnnie Walker he's collecting extra bars

He said he'd like to thank her for the moments on the shore
Said his daddy was a banker, so she loved him more and more
He really was a ranker by the rings upon his sleeve
She wanted rings on her finger, but he was just on leave

He was drinking Scotch and scooch, then he went back on board
He turned the key - then whoosh! and cries, and Help ma, Bob(?) Lord(?)
Says he, I'm so embarrassed, we'll no be goin' to Paris
I've launched the first Polaris through bein' a drunken sod

Now there's a hell of a fuss aboard the Proteus
And the lassie's on the shore by the point o' Lazarus
And she's cryin', Hush-a-bawbee, you'll see your daddy soon
When the clouds all drift away, for he's the first Yank on the moon

(as sung by Geordie McIntyre)

[1984:] [This is in] the direct line of the irrepressible Glasgow music-hall tradition - a kind of take-off of the popular "tragic ballad", with overtones of earlier American commercial popular songs - which never failed to make a hit right through the decade following its creation. (Munro, Revival 75)

[Anti-Polaris] songs are very seldom heard now (though the subs are still in the loch). [One] reason which has been put forward is that some, in common with many other songs written in the sixties, embody male-sexist attitudes which are no longer acceptable. It could be claimed that such attitudes can be traced in [...] The Misguided Missile (if the Miss was misguided, so was the Mister, or Corporal or whatever). (Munro, Revival 78)

[1997:] [Purple Hearts -] the little blue Drinamyl pills which kept virtually every British rock group going through the 1960s [but also American military decoration]. (Observer Life, 14 September)