Henry's Songbook

Sing a song o' tax and woe, empty pooches in a row
Chancellor's collectin' dough a' for Maggie's waddin'
Silk and satin, gold lamé, Tony wears a lum hat tae
Ma suit's in the pawn sae whit'll ah dae at the Royal Waddin'

Maggie flounces doon the aisle, her mither staunds wi' forcit smile
Needs a dose o' castor oil at her dochter's waddin'
Tony's doon on bendit knee, gied up his photographie
Nae mair birdies will he see efter Maggie's waddin'

Foreign guests fae near and far, packed inside Westminster Ha'
Parasites fae France an' a' at the Royal Waddin'
Whaur d'ye think they'll honeymoon? Rome, Paree or on the moon
Wi'oot a doot it's no Dunoon efter sic a waddin'

Noo they're mairried aff they blow tae spend a thoosan' poond or so
That's the way oor money goes for Mrs Jones's waddin'
Back again and help ma bob, Tony hasnae got a job
Wha will buy the christenin' robe - you an' me ah'll bet ye

Royal mince is awfy dear, Tony needs a rise next year
Increase tax on fags an' beer efter Tony's waddin'
Maggie's ta'en up fancy cookin' - Bird's Nest soup fae a Chinese book an'
Suzie Wong won't hae a look in - velly nicey wedding

Sing a song o' tax and woe, empty pooches in a row
Chancellor's collectin' dough a' for Maggie's waddin'

(as sung by Nigel Denver)

Tune: Lewis Bridal Song

[1990:] Maggie's Waddin' got me in various kinds of bother. I was barracked in Mombasa for singing it - not because of its criticism of the Royals at a time long years before it became fashionable - no, because it was a little unkind to the Queen Mother, a great lady and after all a Scot. I was moaned at for singing it in London folk clubs - 'Oh God, another bloody Scot'. (McVicar, One Singer One Song 72)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1099000/1099500.stm