Henry's Songbook

Oh it is hard you will agree
To know your place in Britain's meritocracy
It's most important you should know
The people who're above you and the ones below
(Repeat last two lines)

If Parliament's where you would be
Be sure you come from Oxford with a good degree
For then you may in your accent smooth
Persuade the shiftless workers to the polling booth
(Repeat last two lines)

A redbrick university
Puts you on the lower branches of the tree
And even there you'll have a ball
Scorning those who never reach the tree at all
(Repeat last two lines)

Lawyers, doctors, dentists pass
Their examination to the middle class
Especially if they just scraped through
I'll give you ten to one that they'll look down on you
(Repeat last two lines)

If proper status you would win
Be sure to hang your curtains with the right side in
No one's below you, fancy that
Then your only consolation is to kick the cat
(Repeat last two lines)

(as sung by The Spinners)