Henry's Songbook

Ah see ye're a' by yersel', sittin' at the bar
Can Ah sit doon beside ye, ma whish daughter

Ma boyfriend, he - actually, he's jist gone tae the cludgie
He's seven feet ta' an' he always carries an axe
An' he's the leader o' the Auchenshuggle Hell's Angels

Och aye -
Well if Ah beat up yer boyfriend an' Ah take away his axe
And Ah set fire tae his moped, an' Ah sit doon beside ye
Will ye take a wee drink, flower

Ah'm drinkin' double brandies and baby cham

Och -
Well if Ah beat up yer boyfriend an' Ah take away his axe
And Ah set fire tae his moped, an' Ah sit doon beside ye
An' Ah buy ye a double brandy an' a baby cham
Can Ah run ye hame, ma whish daughter

I live in Whig .....

Och -
Well if Ah beat up yer boyfriend an' Ah take away his axe
And Ah set fire tae his moped, an' Ah buy you a double brandy an' a baby cham
An' Ah run ye hame tae Whig
Will ye ask me tae the door, flower

Ya see, we really get an awfy damp close
An' it's full o' crocodiles and alligators
An' there's mice an' there's rats in the dunny

Och aye -
Well - if Ah beat up yer boyfriend an' Ah take away his axe
And Ah set fire to his moped, an' Ah buy you a double brandy an' a baby cham
An' Ah run ye hame tae Whig, an' Ah don't get eaten by the crocodiles an' the alligators
Will ye ask me tae come in, ma wee flower

Ach, it's awfy late, an' ma mammy'll be waitin' up for me
She likely has washed the loaby floor, an' it'll a' be covered in newspapers
An' we've got a vicious big Alligatian dog that bites strangers
My faither, he's worried aboot no' gettin' his broo money through
I'll have tae wash ma hair, I've got tae be up early the morrow mornin' -

Wait - you don't really want me tae see ye hame, dae ye

But ma mammy'll be waitin' for me

You don't really like me, dae ye

But ma hair's got tae be washed, it didnae get washed since last Thursday .....

'S a' right, 's a' right, Ah know, Ah know .....

As sung/spoken by Hamish Imlach & Iain MacKintosh

Original