Henry's Songbook

It's my Auntie Maggie's home-made remedy
Guaranteed never to fail
That's the stuff that will do the trick
Sold at every chemist's for one-and-a-kick
If you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout
Or a pain in your Robert E. Lee
Don't kick up a shindy
You'll never get windy
With Auntie Maggie's remedy

There's all sorts of medicines that you can buy
No matter what ailment you've got
I know a special one you ought to try
You'll find it's the best of the lot

I went to the doctor, I wasn't too well
He made me lie on the settee
He said, Trouble's brewing - you've been overdoing
Your Auntie Maggie's remedy
When the baby starts crying and there isn't a reason
If you inspect him you'll see
The poor little chappie has covered his nappie
With Auntie Maggie's remedy

To a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake
My intentions were honest, you see
She burst out with laughter, I know what you're after
It's my Auntie Maggie's remedy
Now I know a girl, and she's putting on weight
In a place where she oughtn't to be
So I said to Nellie, You'd better rub your - ankle
With Auntie Maggie's remedy

(as sung by The Spinners)

[1974:] This song has long been part of the folk repertoire of Merseyside, from the time Formby sang it in the film 'Turned Out Nice Again'. (Notes 'The Spinners At the London Palladium')