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A Scottish Holiday

  • (Trad / J. W. Hill)

    So you think you're gaein' tae the north to spend a holiday
    'Cause you're vaguely Scottish on your mither's side
    And you've heard of ancient glories both renowned in song and story
    Kilts and haggis, Andy Stewart and the Clyde

    Ye go up by Crianlarich, it's the gateway to the north
    And the scenery will please your eyes I'm sure
    Ye take oot your picnic basket 'cause the car has blown a gasket
    In the middle o' a place called Rannoch Moor

    So you telephone the garage listed in the tourist guide
    That was published for you by the R.A.C.
    But by design, or by intention, or, they just forget to mention
    That the garage closes doon for half past three

    So you're towed behind this tractor tae a corrugated shed
    That's surrounded by farm implements and carts
    And you scratch your head and wonder why you ever bought a Honda
    'Cause they'll have to send to Tokyo for the parts

    So you board the train for Oban and you get the boat to Mull
    Feeling like you've had a night upon the tiles
    Ye pay twenty pence for coffee with a tang o' diesel oil
    Your experience in the swindle o' the isles

    But your pulse begins to quicken at the thought of berry-pickin'
    So you take a trip to 'Gowrie for a spell
    Wi' some wellies o' your mothers that she bought in Ali Brothers
    And a Gideon bible pinched frae yer hotel

    So you're standing picking rasps being stung to death by wasps
    The midges and the clegs are making free
    And the bairns have ate the berries and contracted dysentery
    'Cause last week they sprayed the crop with DDT

    So you're headin' back to Birmingham more waterlogged than tanned
    But no signs of habitation can you see
    When you thought you were in Berwick you were actually in Lerwick
    'Cause some vandal changed the signpost in Dundee

clegs - horseflies

As sung by The Corries

Tune: Road to the Isles

Susannes Folksong-Notizen

  • english  [2002:] Ali brothers was just the name of a shop in Edinburgh, nothing special or particularly large. (Gavin Browne, pr. comm., 5 Feb)

See also
Bill Hill - Wangle o the Isles for another parody of ‘Road to the Isles’

Quelle: Scotland

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31.03.2003, aktualisiert am 02.04.2010, 06.03.2009