- (John McCready)
I was just going on to do my first set
When he greets me like a long-lost old friend
Now I don't think that I'd ever seen him before
And I don't want to see him again
He tells me he's been on the folk scene for years
There's nobody he doesnae know
He's not a member of any club now
He just dropped in to check out my show
So I do the first set, then it's time for the break
I sit down with my friends for the crack
But who's this beside me - my heart sinks inside me
You've guessed it, my old friend is back
He talks about Christy, Eric and Dick
Big Billy's name was there, too
But if you mentioned his name to any of them
They would just scratch their head and say, Who?
It's not easy to be such a nice man as me
Meeting people like that every day
He tells me the problem with this club tonight
The organisers just don't know the score
He could fill this place twice over three times a week
But he doesn't organise any more
At festival time you can bet your last dime
He avoids paying whenever he can
He's the one talking through all the quiet songs
If he's not, then he's playing his bodhran
It's not easy to be ...
So the second set's over, it went pretty well
They like me, I'm up on a high
But the limpet is back, I can't shake him off
No matter how hard I try
He stood at the bar with his back to the stage
Telling jokes while I did my best
And when I came to the second last word of each song
He would always turn round and shout, Yes!
It's not easy to be ...
At last the night's over and it's time to go home
And I wish he'd get out of my face
But you know me, I always try to be nice
But then he's an exceptional case
You think you're God's gift to folk music, I said
And I'd need you so I'll make the grade
So how come they never ask you for a song
And I was the one that got paid
Which makes it easier to be such a nice man as me
Meeting people like that every day
You're so vain
I bet you think this song is not about you -
you're so vain